Captains log: that Nausea BAABBBYYY

Skrrkksss so let's take it back.

AC blood of Jesus first dose is done and over with. I get a lupron shot while wearing my predator cap and we get the ok to do a hot girl walk from Manny because the steroid is going to keep me UP!!

Predator cap...I don't know if this is gonna work because of the Ant of product that was in my hair but I'm gonna try cool capping today for an hour before gently rinsing my hair with baby shampoo and giving it a gentle retwist. Hopefully none falls out in my hand lol.

Ok so! I'm laying on the sofa and my heart starts to beat ...RAPIDAMENTE. THUMPER style FAST!

So I say, yo Angela, let's give the heart something to catch up to. Time to go to the hot girl walk.

So we walk to central park. Heart is BEATING. Ok I go inside and truncate the route shorter..HEART IS BEATING

Halfway through the route I don't feel my heart trying to escape my chest anymore so Ok we going good. Then the skies open and I feel..GOOD! so I say let's go do some squats and stuff. 

Well that was the shit that had all hell break loose.

I did 12 squats. 

12.

Done

Douze

Cue immediate dizziness, nausea the whole gammet. 

I cannae believe I'm saying this but thank GOD that after I took 10 steps to walk home, there was a police car right in front of us. Angela was gonna book us a freebee. I was like NOPE..PO stat.

He came was worried (apparently his dad too is going through chemo), called the WOO WOO AMBULANCE, who determined I was tachy with a high heart rate. Once they put me in tbe back of tbe truck in the AC...everything came right down, heart rate, blood pressure glucose. 

So I just needed a cool place to rest for 10 minutes. I declined going to West Side as I explained that I was there on Sunday already and went through the whole gamet. PO PO dropped us home and from 7.30pm onwards ti now at 5.30am I have been FIGHTING NAUSEA. ginger chews and the heart bending and constipation given medication. I've been TAKING. 

My body wakes me up on the hour every hour screaming NAUSEA!

heart rate is down tho..and funnily enough 2 things distracted me from the nausea.

1. Doing crossword puzzles in the book I bought

2. Having to lock in and respond to foolishness on a contract with CC+that we are trying to initiate.

My symptoms miraculously VANISHED!

Anyways waiting on this lupron shot to be administered....guy said it feels like a rubber band sting which I think is craaazzzy..its here blinking away green in the night on my belly. Wowser.

On to the next one.

one down, eleven (speaking into being) to go!

So today....was LIFT OFF!

Started the day at 7.30am as we arrived at Baptist for my 8am ultrasound. 

As usual the staff from baptist are AMAAAZING! 

Ultrasound tech was a complete sweetheart. She read through my entire history!  A few laughs, a baby wipe and a Portable deodorant wipe (ps those don't work) later. We were upstairs for day 1.

Not a payment taken or made today!small wins!

Anyways..I don't know what state or frame of mind I'm in but I can tell you..my ass is goofy today. My brain is treating this as a new adventure I'm going on where I get to where a space hat 🤣 

Labs with a blood draw and 15 minutes later, we meet Manny..I hope I have Manny EVERY TIME! THOROUGH, KNOWLEDGEABLE AND MY SPIRIT ANIMAL!! We all even paused for a cause so I can cop 2 tickets for Janet Jackson 40 on Dec 12! 300  BUCKEROOS A POP!

ANYWAYS Prep this morning including condition and wet my hair PLUS wetting the durag I was wearing to keep it damp. Angela did another 2 rounds to SOAK my hair and the on popped the loaner cap (mine arrives tomorrow). its cold...I was concerned that it would be ridiculous..but it feels like when a brisk Scottish breeze blows through your hair. Or it could be that I only think my pain tolerance is low, when in fact it is quite high..who the hell knows. Lol

Anyways. Port in, pre nausea meds, steroid in and then comes the BLOOD of Jesus! For context the tumour that came out of me was ER 90%/PR 20% +, HER -. So ..hormone driven, BRCA gene negative with a KI67 of 70%,..I.e. aggressive. So that action plan is to hit it hard and fast....which is why...blood of Jesus

But I've been goofy all morning, laughing and chatting with manny and everybody. Including Sade who came to see me and met Angela too..I'd say day 1 is going cool.. but at the end of the day, we can only make the day based on how we approach it!

Several pees later including one strawberry red passing, and I'm still here at the infusion centre. I forsee I'll be done by 3. Home by 3.07pm. Hmmm

I should probably ask Manny if I can go for a walk later..esp as I have this steroid in me. Prob sweat out some of this bullshit. Lolol

Anyways...day 1 is almost done..let's see what my hypothesis about hydration and protein does for me...

On to the next one!

t minus lift off tomorrow

Well..with each day it gets real-er and real-er!

Yesterday was chemo education, paxman cool cap fitting and underarm biopsy all at baptist

With a stop at Anna's cafe of course 

Angela and I took the 7 minute drive to Baptist and arrived at 7.45am. I was mixed up with all these phone calls and texts so we were an hour early for our appointment. Not top much to mind because the facility is quite nice and waiting room wasn't too overwhelming.

Chemo education- done!

Paxman cold cap fitting (size L) done!

Interruption with call from plastic surgery office ..done!

We got to see the infusion area where I'll be receiving the meds to make me ALL better and then we took a freebee to Anna's for lunch with a short stop in publix for my sweet reward for handling the day. 

(I did see Angela tearing up a bit in the freebee after shakeitra asked how I was doing).

We were lucky that we were back in the hospital and waiting for my 2pm when they called and said they had a cancellation and can take me immediately! Yay me! 

After being PROPER drugged up on Lidocaine by tbe doctor doing the biopsy (she hates needles and I hate pain so I think she gave me a double dose), a round of laughs between the 4 of us in the room and all of us looking at the ultrasound thinking...there's no cancer in there, biopsy done, clip placed, area numb as hell.

The privilege of being able to just jump in the car and drive the 7 minutes back home is something Angela was thanking the Lord for bringing Dwayne into my life for.

Jokes on me though! Aaaaasss we buss through the door..I'm like..why is my lip feeling so numb? 15 minutes later. Why is my mouth so dry? Another 10 minutes...BITCH ARE YOU HIGH?

YES INDEED..MY ASS WAS HIGH FROM THE LIDOCAINE! LOL...powered through work but HAD to take a nap.

Woke up to realise I passed my PET scan (but looks like my fibroids may be back  womp womp) and the day ended on a good note...but then surprise surpriiiiisee, dwayne came to visit!

So a couple hours later hanging out on the sofa and I was AAAH SLEEP after the most awkward lower half shower ever!

I think I'm more resolved this morning. This ish is happening whether I like it or not...so just make up your mind and get to it. Who knows..my mind may change by the 3rd round of AC

But for now...it is what it is..get through it. Try to make the best of a shitty situation and keep it moving.

And as odko said...try to ensure you have things to look forward to. For me that would be college HBCU football AND Ms Janet on Dec 12 (I hope those tickets aren't a crazy price!)

Anyways Day before AC first dose! 

At this pt the cold cap may be more pressure than the AC! That ish is TIGHT and uncomfortable!

another day, another battery of tests

Tuesday 18th, 2 days before infusion day

Angela is here, flitting around with some nervous energy whilst trying to be calming. The usual questions about food, sleep etc etc 

Today is chemo education day so I guess this is where we get to ask all our questions, learn what to expect, DOS and don't. I'll also have my financial class plus about 3 tests that they have decided to pack me up with. I guess this will let us know if we are still on the right path for treatment 

I'm hoping I can go for a 30 minute stroll later. I'm tired of lazing and being lazy!

Todays cry baby feature. Naomi from the front office sent me a note and her personal visitors pass so I can use it with uncles  car...yes you heard that right. At this point this man is a better family member than everybody in my family lol.

But yes. I did cry. The note was sweet.

Angela reminded me how Naomi and I started off as bitter enemies which is how she earned the name "spicy"

But between time and my excessive charm...here we are now. Warmth and love exchanging every time.

On to today!

Every single cell inside my body...

6.45am Baptist health

Well..its Monday.  ECHO scheduled for 7.30am at Baptist Health.

And WHYYYYY am i here ar 6.45am? I'm grateful that these ppl sent a car, but the division isn't even open! 

So here I am..sitting, waiting at the hospital in the break room in an empty area just waiting.

Hurry up and wait I guess.

After  this at 11am, PET scan. And you know what? EVERY SINGLE CELL INSIDE MY BODY, EVERY SINGLE CELL IS HAPPY AND WELL 😀

Yesterday,  uncle came through (again - at this point he is the come through man lol) and brought a whole car...a car..to get myself and angela through infusions. I've never come across this level of unending generosity in my life before.

He hares it whenever I tell him thank you, so from now on I'll redirect my appreciation here.

This level of care and consideration is unknown to me and every day I am thankful that Kathrine called in a panic for help for carnival and I am thankful that January Nnyeka was also kind enough to say "he could lime with me and my crew!" 

Imagine if the stars and fates and GOD didn't line all this up! I am beyond awed. I'm beyond grateful. Thank you Jesus for health, love and support.

So we keep trudging along. 1 foot in front the other. Doing what needs to be done. 

1 year!! 1 YEAR to the day. July 21 2027...I'll be NED. Cured. Reconstructed. Battle worn and tested but HERE. Mentally healthy from THIS PTSD and loving life and loving the people around me MORE.

rum pah pah pum -man down! (for today)

Woke up this morning.

Chest -aching

Back -on fire

Mucus -plentiful and not the colour it should be.

Yeah ER time because this is NAWT Sustainable and something is clearly wrong as Dr Allen said that a. Her patients done usually need pain killers post surgery and b at this pt i cant even distinguish the pain between my chest port and this lung/chest/back pain.

Ofc before leaving the house I had to put a load of laundry in, fix Angela's room and start the robot vacuum! Caribbean trauma is real lol.

Anyways, 1 lyft ride later with lyft driver Patrick who picked me up last week,  check in and in 15 minutes I'm in a room being poked and prodded

It's amazing how in 40 years of life I have prob had blood draws maybe 10 times. In the last 2 months I've had about 15 IVs and 6 blood draws,  things that I really really hate.  I'm properly hooked up 

My word, this is an experience. One that I'm not interested in repeating ever. 

Prevention is better than cure. 

a weekend of normality - the final weekend

Last weekend before lift off

Too bad I'm spending it in FREAKING PAIN FROM THIS CHEST PORT

The place hot AF 98 DEGREES!

Dwaynes been an excellent trooper keeping me company. Rolling in with a fabulous, positive attitude and keeping my mood high.

Some food at Anna's Cafe is always a good time 😀 and then ofc picking up my medication for nausea and other things.

It's gonna be a learning experience for us all...bring on the next 4 months!