I am so tired of these tests

Ultrasound of axilla in davie

Ultrasound of breast in plantation

ECHO in plantation

PET scan in plantation

Lord how much more. 

I'm already tired and we haven't started

But!!

Every single cell inside my body! Every single cell is happy and well! 

a reminder of love and care

Michelle from RMI.

I would be remiss not to immortalise her in these posts.

David as well.

Islands team has me crying and bawling at the oncologist office.

David -we will cover for you. Get what you need to do done.

Michelle with a care package in front my door. Ninja style, no clue how she even had my address.

Cookies and rolls eaten, soup in the freezer, yet the love and care remains.

oh the terror

I am terrified.

That's it.

That's the post.

I am crying while writing this from sheer terror.

I pray the Lord that my body handles this better than I think.

every single cell inside my body

Every single cell is happy and well!

I'm so glad, every single cell, in my body is happy and well!! 

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/1Eb9A9oM7x/

SING IT!!

SAAAANG IT NNYEKA! 😀 

The way this ditty has me SMILING!

Aug 12 - port goes in and Aug 13 - breaking up with Amin

Well..the port is in!

Had the surgery at Westside hospital and can I tell you! I prefer the outpatient centre! The nurse that I got at Westside is literally the face of an incompetent old Betty. 

First, she was unpleasant. No good morning, no smile, no asking who I was just plopped herself in front of me. Then, when I got up..she was like oh..you're the patient? Yes my little leather skinned, beach blond lady...yes

She also didn't check if the hospital gown was prepped (reader: it was not) AND could not find a vein..in my veins ass hands! I saw her go ask some other guy to find a vein..which he found but it was scraping on my bone! When I said ow..she was like "oh it'll get better", thank god the other guy advocated before I could speak up and said NO if she's crying in pain I'll put another one.

So THREEEE THREEEE jooks later, I had an IV..an IV!!! The anaesthesia team was the bomb tho..can't fault them. Lol.

Anyways...yesterday was FULL of activity, while I was waiting to be checked in, the nurse navigator assigned to me at Westside called to introduce herself. I told her I was downstairs and she came to meet me. Stephanie! Lovely gal. Her husband is Jamaican and chat chat chat. She's promised (and did!) to put me on to resources for financial aid and support as well. THEN!! The new oncologists office wanted to see me that same afternoon!

I told em hey..I am getting my port put in, I won't be done here till about 1pm, do you still want to see me at 3.00pm?? Them...YES!!!

SOOOO...herculean effort, not really by me (I just had to sit and be woozy) but Dwayne. This man will be forever celebrated and immortalised through this blog. He may be an asshole at times..but he is MY 'AT TIMES' ASSHOLE lolol.

As an aside: I really hope we can weather any storm...sigh..that's my homie dude!

Anyways, he came through, helped to get me sorted and dressed and wheeled my ass out. Stopped by the condo to warm his food which he split with me (sweetheart), bring me fruit which he bought for me and give me water. Thank God. By the time he napped for 15 minutes, it was 2.45pm and time to head to the hospital.

The irony eh. Me choosing a condo location with 2 great hospitals because of my elderly parents. Not realising I'd need the damn things lol.

So to Baptist to go to meet the new oncologist 

And can I tell you. Night and day. Blown away impressed by this woman. I felt like I was her ONLY patient. I felt LISTENED to. And I got information in such a comprehensive and shareable manner. Even Dwayne was like, I'm glad you got this lady..and trust..I am too!

So second nurse navigator assigned (Sade), scheduling started and a whirlwind of other things and the day finally came to an end at 6pm!!

The chemo port HURTS..it HURTS. Nnyeka when you read this in how many ever years in the future. TAKE THE DAMN TYLENOL...NO NEED TO MAN UP ABOUT SHIT!!! TAKE THE PAIN MEDS!! Stop being stubborn girl!!

Anyways...today I went to go see my old oncologist. Dr Amin. Man...it felt like going to sangre grande health centre after the experience with Dr Carcas. Appt at 10.30am. Got there at 10.27am. Waited till 12.05pm to see him. WTH AN APPOINTMENT AND A WAITING ROOM OF 30 PPL!! We chatted, he told me I'm BRCA-, I.E. I HAVE NO GENETIC HISTORY..so I either have a unique genetic marker not yet tested, or its from environment (i think it may be the latter...black disinfectant im looking at you) 

Then, I broke up with him lolol. Promised to keep in touch after the four blood of Jesus infusions and hopefully I'll get a scan between blood of Jesus and taxol and kept it pushing. 

For reminiscing, Nnyeka girl you're gonna get 4 blood of jesus (AC-T) and UP TO 12 rounds of taxol. But because every single cell inside  body is happy and well, I'll get to do 8 😀

Now I'm in bed rubbing my feet together, fielding a whopping amount of calls as I have literally SIX tests to do. I am happy I'm 300 shy of my out of pocket. CIGNA gone ahead and pay the rest!!

Tomorrow its another breast ultrasound, Monday is  ECHO and PET and Angela arrives!!! 

Port goes in tomorrow and why is it so hard to transfer care!

Let's get ready to rumble

Pfft yeah right.. I'm still vastly annoyed and terrified that this is happening to me

Anyways. Went to see Dr Allen today..Port goes in tomorrow.. imagine I didn't even know that a chemo Port required surgery. I just thought it was something they stuck on your chest! Ha! My ignorance runs DEEP!

Hospital also called. Gotta be there at 8am at the Main Hospital Entrance. Westside Hospital. This Port will be my lifeline for chemo and I'll be HAPPY when I take the bish out. Alas, let's get it done.

In other news, I'm trying to do cool cap therapy to save my hair ...my 20 years of LOCS! and I would like to transfer my care to Baptist Health.

Why the fuck oh why does it feel like a bunch of gargoyle guarding the castle for me to get a BASIC CONSULT with the oncologist! OMG! I'm literally on hold for 20 minutes trying to make a consultation appointment! WTF IS THIS!!!

Oh they may want you to do the lymph node biopsy first so you want me to add another week or two of waiting while this shit is in my tit. Like come on!!! 

This is FRUSTRATING to the point where imma be like..uncle buzz my hair cuz this is some bullshit. Ppl with life threatening disease should not be having to navigate complex hospital systems! This is BULLSHIT!

WOOSAH..and breathe. Anyways let me get to Kohls to return this amazon order.

and we're off!

I'm arduous celebrating some of my last weekens before chemo begins on Auguat 20th. 

This weekend I went to Cheryl's 60th birthday party , great gatsby style. Michelle, Rose, Dee, Dana all there and looking fine.

Sunday was a day of rest and slowly preparing.. kara and Michelle's friend has told me I need to start journaling this period by hand..I'll get there..but nothing stops the old trusty blogger app!

Preparing suzzi mits, suzzi helmet, mirena removal. What is scaring me the most is that I have been through mental hardship before. But never have I paired that with the physical hardship of what chemo and repeated rounds of surgery sounds like.

All this paired with H1B renewal woes during this strange administration AND fundraising.

Chemo brain, fatigue, all of these things have me SCARED.

This is why I cry. How long will I have to be mentally strong in the face of torture.

I am so grateful for my A team.

Dwayne

Allan

Angela

Steady and strong presence like a heart beat.

I don't know what good things I've done to have these people in my life. But thank GOD.

Especially I thank God for Dwayne..never would I have thought I'd meet such a caring individual who in such a short time has taken on responsibility for my care and well-being

Still I cry

Still..one foot in front the next.